IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a therapy model that offers a map for understanding inner dynamics and easing inner conflict.

IFS views psychic multiplicity as the norm: we all have 'parts', competing voices, impulses and desires, which can express themselves through inhibiting and/or extreme behaviors. In IFS therapy, we believe that despite their negative impact, all parts have a positive intention for the system and are trying their best to keep pain at bay. Understanding the workings of our inner system can help us access the compassion and clarity necessary to heal past wounds, and have more choice in how we respond (rather than defensively or impulsively react) to the opportunities, challenges and complexities of our present life.

According to the developer of IFS therapy, Dick Schwartz, parts tend to play three common roles:

• Managers - 'Never again': Their role is to prevent wounds and vulnerability being triggered. They often run our lives and are very dutiful, responsible and proactive. They create stability and encourage improvement but can be controlling, hyper-critical, contemptuous, hostile, unemotional; cold, perfectionist, blaming/shaming, highly over-responsible or chronically self-sacrificing.
• Firefighters - 'Whatever it takes': While managers are preventative, FFs are reactive. When all else fails and wounds are triggered, firefighters come in to numb, distract, deflect or soothe through impulsive behaviors, such as heavy use of alcohol and drugs, sexual ‘acting out,’ gambling and chaotic spending, disordered eating, self-harming, suicide, violence. In a more positive role, FFs can  balance manager's energy by bringing rest, fun, excitement and pleasure in someone's lives.
• Exiles - 'Does anyone care?' :  They embody our vulnerability, sensitivity, open-hardheartedness.  They absorb the energy in the relational field. Exiles carry memories of un-integrated, painful events which develop core negative beliefs, feelings and sensations (burdens). They feel alone; abandoned; unlovable; worthless; shamed; terrorized; victimized; unforgiven. But exiles are not the burdens they carry, and they are core to our full humanity and feeling of aliveness.
  

Restoring trust in Self

Like Psychosynthesis, IFS therapy posits that, in addition to the various parts often in conflict with each other, we all have within us an indestructible inner source of wisdom and healing: the Self.

When we have known a lot of suffering and betrayal, it may be hard initially to access and trust the energy of this core Self within. Yet, whatever happened to us, and whatever diagnosis we may have, Self is a deep and undamaged inner resource in all of us.

The aim of IFS therapy is to reconnect with this inner state of calm, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness (IFS therapy calls them the 8 C’s of Self) so that we can heal past wounding and live more fully.

Healing in IFS therapy

IFS therapy makes intuitive sense to some people, but not everyone relates to the notion of parts, and even less to that of having vulnerable 'inner children' in need of time and attention. Some may object that caring for their outer children is enough! Most, however, would agree that there is some vulnerability in all of us - ways in which we feel small, powerless, ashamed  or rejected in different situations  (what IFS therapy calls 'exiles') and we all develop ways to either prevent or defend this vulnerability (which IFS therapy understands as the strategies of our 'protectors parts').

Some people may see similarities between IFS therapy and 'inner child work'.

 It is true that often exiles are young parts of us who hold extreme beliefs, memories, feelings and sensations (which IFS calls 'burdens') linked to being unsafe or unseen growing up. (you can learn more from Dr. Frank Anderson. lead IFS trainer describe how this process works here)

One important difference is that IFS therapy works systemically, addressing protectors' concerns and listening to their wisdom first. The more protectors feel understood and validated in their positive intent, the more they can relax and sense Self as an inner presence capable of drawing on all the resources available to the system to keep it in balance. The more protectors relax, the more of this Self energy becomes available for the healing of our abandoned inner children. 

 IFS therapy is a mindfulness based/experiential/internal attachment model, which draws on the neuroplastic power of the imagination to help exiles get 'from within' the attuned presence they needed and never got so that they can find a safe and loving home inside of us in the present.

IFS therapy's view on 'out of control' behaviours

Possibly the most painful way we experience parts at work is with 'addictive/compulsive behaviours'. Be it rage, binge or self-harm, we feel as if we are taken over by a powerful force we cannot stop (in IFS we would say we are blended with 'extreme firefighters'). When that happens a tug-of-war ensues between these extreme parts and a more acceptable self-image usually ruled by inner 'managers' constantly pushing for self-control and self-improvement.

 While therapists are usually recruited to support clients' inner managers, IFS therapy does not take sides. While acknowledging manager's legitimate fears about the impact of extreme behaviours, it inquires about the deeper positive intention behind firefighters' actions. Often, in fact, these are desperate measures to give momentary relief from the exiled feelings of aloness, shame and despair that managers are trying to prevent by 'being good'.

As life will always find ways to trigger 'exiled' feelings, 'firefighters' become our last resort. Unfortunately, the damaging consequences of extreme FF's behaviors begets more blaming and shaming, both from our inner managers and from people around us. This adds to the burden of shame our exiles are already carrying, making them more vulnerable to being triggered...and so the cycle goes on and on.

 Bringing caring curiosity to, and 'unblending from' each of these inner players, IFS therapy's aim is to first slow down and eventually reverse this cycle, and find a more compassionate and inclusive way of being ourselves in this demanding world.

Looking for Internal Family System therapists in Ireland?

Click here for IFS Institute directory

IFS therapy audio interview

Listen to Dr. Schwartz, the developer of IFS therapy, talking about his audio book and how Internal Family Systems can help you meet, dialogue with, and heal your inner system.

IFS therapy audio book

 'Self-Therapy' makes  Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Available on audible/kindle and in print

IFS therapy Introduction

In this book, Dr. Schwartz introduces the basic concepts and methods Internal Family Systems Therapy, in an engaging, understandable, and personal style.